8 Questions All New Mothers Ask About Their Babies
Babies, especially newborns, can be confusing! There are so many nuances to their behaviors & when they finally arrive it can be hard to know if you are doing the right thing. Always remember that you AND your baby are unique so not every answer will 100% explain your exact situation.
As a mother/baby registered nurse I walk with a LOT of new mothers on their first few hours or days with their newborn babies.
Here are the most common questions I get asked by new mothers:
How do I know baby is getting enough to eat?
My baby only wants to sleep on me & not in their bassinet, why?
My baby looks asleep while breastfeeding, are they actually eating?
Should we bathe baby right away? There’s stuff on their skin.
Is my baby warm enough? Too hot? How can I tell?
Their poop looks weird, why is it that color?
Why is my baby’s breathing going from fast to slow? Why do they sound stuffed up?
How often should my baby sleep?
It can be nice to know these common newborn feeding, sleeping, and breathing behaviors.
I also encourage you to take an online or in-person course to prepare yourself in the best way! My ‘nursing newborn’ breastfeeding course will set you up for success & help you on the start of your journey. Sign up here!
I also offer 24/7 postpartum texting support for mom & baby. Instead of asking google, ask me…YOUR personal postpartum nurse. Get 5 days of 24/7 texting support. Get the individualized care & attention you deserve. Sign up here!
How do I know baby is getting enough to eat?
This is BY FAR the most common question new mothers ask. Especially if they are breastfeeding.
It can be hard to know baby is actually eating if we can’t see the milk going in. So how can we tell?
The first way is if they are making poop & pee diapers. Keeping track of this information can be really helpful as a new mom and a lot of your providers will ask this as well.
A newborn that is one day old should have a MINIMUM (meaning they could have more) of one poop and one pee diaper. By day two that diaper count should go up to two pee’s and two poops. On day six & beyond your baby should have a MINIMUM of 6-8 wet diapers per day.
Another way to tell is their body language & bahavior. A hungry baby with have tightly clenched fists & a rigid body. A full baby will have relaxed hands & you will almost feel them melt into your body when you hold them.
It can be hard to tell if a baby is 100% full during ‘cluster feeding’ times–this is why I totally suggest a breastfeeding course, like mine, so you know these things are coming & can equip yourself to be ready.
My baby only wants to sleep on me & not in their bassinet, why?
Your baby ONLY knows you. That is all they have ever known. Your body provided them with warmth, sounds, and touch for months and months. For a lot of babies, this transition isn’t easy!
They aren’t born ready to sleep on their own. A cold, hard, motionless bassinet is very foreign to them.
Sometimes hearing this information is helpful to mothers and sometimes it’s overwhelming.
Know that you are not alone, and you have some options! You CAN safely cosleep (planning & being diligent goes into this). You can also take turns with a partner or anyone else who can help you. Babywearing during the day can help baby rest peacefully and allow you to move around freely.
But PLEASE know that holding your baby is not ‘spoiling’ them. It is developmentally appropriate for babies (up to 3 years of age) to need support while sleeping.
My baby looks asleep while breastfeeding, are they actually eating?
A lot of babies will breastfeed with their eyes closed. I have a lot of patients who tell me they didn’t feed their baby because the ‘baby looked like they were sleeping’.
Newborns, with eyes open or closed, will NOT actively suck at the breast the entire feed. Typically, their eyes are closed and they will intermittently suck. They might look asleep, they might even fall asleep during the feed.
It is biologically normal for babies to fall asleep at the breast and this is mainly due to a hormone called cholecystokinin or CCK. CCK helps your baby feel full and sleepy and it is released in your baby's gut as soon as they start sucking.
If your baby won’t ‘feed at the breast’ or suck at all you can try unswaddling them & getting them skin-to-skin. You can also check their diaper. Always rule out jaundice in young infants as this can make them extra sleepy as well.
Moral of the story: your baby doesn’t need to have their eyes open to eat! Just because they ‘look asleep’ doesn’t always mean they aren’t suckling at the breast/eating.
Should we bathe baby right away? There’s stuff on their skin.
When your baby is born you may notice a creamy white substance all over their skin. This is called Vernix Caseosa. This covering is formed during the second trimester of pregnancy and serves many purposes.
Before baby is born vernix actually helps with the formation of their skin. It also acts as a waterproof barrier for your baby, protecting their skin from amniotic fluid. It also covers them to stabilize their temperature. It also acts as an antimicrobial barrier to protect against any bacteria during delivery.
After baby is born vernix STILL has amazing benefits. It helps regulate their temperature just as it did in utero. Its antimicrobial properties are AMAZING–this pretty much means it’s fighting off infections that could be harming your baby’s skin.
So should you bathe your baby right away? In the end that’s up to you. But there are so many good things covering their bodies & keeping their temperature stable that I ALWAYS say it’s better to wait.
Is my baby warm enough? Too hot? How can I tell?
It’s important to keep babies at a comfortable temperature. They cannot ‘regulate’ their temperature on their own yet. Keeping them TOO hot, especially during sleep, is a risk for SIDS. And keeping them TOO cold can be very uncomfortable for them.
This is why I always suggest skin-to-skin. Did you know that as baby’s mother, you can actually heat your own body up to warm baby & cool it down to cool baby? It will automatically regulate once you put baby on your skin.
Your breastmilk will do the same thing! Breastmilk can become warmer if baby is cold & colder if baby is warm! We are literally so amazing.
The BEST way to check a baby’s temperature is by placing your hand (preferably the back of your hand) on the nape of their neck or torso. It’s common for baby’s hands & feet to be colder. The most accurate place for checking is always the center of their body.
Their poop looks weird, why is it that color?
Baby poop is just that, WEIRD. From black & sticky, to yellow & seedy, or even tan…..there are a lot of colors!
It’s beneficial, and something I go over in my own baby care course (that I am building still) to know what colors of poop are abnormal.
Brown/orange poop is normal in formula-fed babies!
Yellow poop is normal in breastfed babies!
Green poop can be normal, especially if it’s not happening often. Causes of green poop could also be from your baby trying new foods. Or an illness baby has! If it’s persistent reach out to your provider.
Black poop is normal if your baby is UNDER 1 week old. Any older than that and a call to your provider would be a good idea.
White poop is NEVER normal & you should call your provider.
Red poop is NEVER normal & you should call your provider.
Why is my baby’s breathing going from fast to slow? Why do they sound stuffed up?
Infants breathe faster than adults! Their normal breathing rate is 40-60 breaths per minute. Their breathing can be sporadic and also noisy sometimes! This is because they breathe out of their noses.
I go over alllllll of the normal newborn breathing patterns and when to be concerned in my Infant First Aid Course. Check it out here! Every parent should know this valuable information.
Retractions, nasal flaring, blue-colored lips, and pauses longer than 10 seconds would be a cause for concern. Educate yourself & feel confident taking care of your baby. Knowing this information is truly life-changing.
How often should my baby sleep?
We could throw out numbers and say they need to sleep 18 hours per day when they are really young. But to be honest EVERY baby needs something entirely different.
Some babies have high sleep needs and some have low sleep needs. Just like you & me. They are unique in what they need.
I urge you to focus on your baby’s behaviors & learn their cues. This will be way more beneficial than tracking things on an app, or doing what Suzy on Instagram does. Learn them! You are with them, you know them, and you are the expert on their behavior.
If your infant wakes up from sleep happy & well-rested–that’s great! If they wake up screaming & uncomfortable or seem like they cannot settle–it might be time for some extra help to see what is going on.
My life motto as a maternal/infant nurse & educator is this: you are the expert on your own baby.
There will be so many things you might wonder. And the internet can be a very scary place.
Take a baby care basics course from someone you trust & vibe with. Take a breastfeeding course to feel confident on your journey. Take an infant first aid class to learn how to help your baby & what to look out for.
But at the end of the day, trust your gut. As a mother, this is our greatest tool.
References
Bamalan, O., Moore, M., & Menezes, R. (2023, July 4). Vernix Caseosa - StatPearls - NCBI Bookshelf. Vernix Caseosa. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK559238/