How Do I Wean From Breastfeeding?
Breastfeeding is a unique journey for every mother. There are TONS of discussions about topics such as ‘maintaining your breastmilk supply’, ‘boosting your breastmilk supply’, or even ‘ensuring baby has a good latch’.
What about when you and/or your baby are ready to end your breastfeeding journey? What about the process of weaning?
I have not only studied the ‘weaning process’ as an IBCLC (international board certified lactation consultant)--I have LIVED it. I weaned my daughter around 14 months of age & learned a lot through that process.
Let’s talk about:
-When to wean from breastfeeding
-Three different types of weaning
-My personal weaning experience
-Tips for mothers while weaning
-Tips for baby while weaning
No matter the circumstances surrounding your weaning journey–it’s important to have a plan & the right support. Weaning is an individual journey just like breastfeeding. If you need support during this time, whether physical or emotional, please know that I am here. You can book a consult with me here.
When To Wean From Breastfeeding
Weaning is the gradual replacement of breast milk with other sources of nutrition. So, when we talk about weaning from ‘breastfeeding’ we are also referring to weaning from ‘pumping breastmilk’.
Deciding the right time to wean is a completely personal decision! Babies typically ‘self-wean’ or start to show signs they are ready around ages 2-4. You, however, might be ready before or after that timeframe.
Weaning is hardly ever ‘necessary’. If your child’s provider tells you that you ‘need’ to wean from breastfeeding based on their age–I encourage you to work with a professional who is trained in lactation.
Reasons you may want to wean:
-A new pregnancy
-Painful feedings (nipple biting, recurrent mastitis, etc)
-Going back to work or prolonged separation
-Lack of support
-Feeding ‘ready’ to move on
-Maternal illness or medications being taken (there are a small number of medications in which breastfeeding is NOT recommended–LactRx app is a great resource)
Because weaning is such a personal choice & situation I always suggest getting professional support if you’re having to wean and it’s something you DO NOT want to do. I want you to feel good & aligned in this decision-making process. Not ‘forced’ into it for various reasons.
Three Different Types of Weaning
Weaning can look different for every mother and every baby! There are a few approaches–one is said to be more natural (infant-led) and the other more planned out (mother-led).
So what are the different types?
Infant-Led
This type of weaning is where the infant starts to accept more complementary foods while maintaining an on-demand breastfeeding relationship
They gradually replace all ‘breastmilk’ feeds with meals
Breastfeeding becomes less and less frequent
They usually fully ‘self-wean’ by 2-4 years of age
Mother-Led
This type of weaning occurs when the mother wants to stop breastfeeding, without cues from the infant that they are ready
Since it is led by the mother, some planning can go into consideration
Typically, it is still a gradual process, meaning it occurs over months of time
Abrupt
This type of weaning is very sudden and quick
No planning or consideration for the mother or infant
It typically occurs when the mother is taking a medication that can be extremely harmful if passed through breastmilk OR if the mother has a severe prolonged illness
This is never the recommended route as it can cause severe discomfort for the mother and the infant might not be ready for the sudden shift
My Personal Weaning Experience
We weaned a little earlier than I wanted to if I am being frank. Or at least I wasn’t ready.
My daughter was about 14 months old and we knew I would be going on a 7-day trip away from her with my husband. We never got a honeymoon and wanted this time together.
She was only occasionally breastfeeding and we had switched her to whole milk and complementary foods. She was handling it well and started to show a huge disinterest in nursing.
I now know this was probably a ‘nursing strike’. A nursing strike is when an infant suddenly refuses to breastfeed. It can happen for several reasons: the return of the mother's menstrual cycle, teething, illness, or a change in the mother’s diet.
There are different ways to combat a nursing strike if you would like to continue breastfeeding. You can make sure you are in a quiet space during feedings. Or you could increase the amount of cuddling & soothing of the baby during breastfeeding. You can also offer the breast when the infant is just waking or falling asleep.
I started the weaning process by replacing daytime feeds with snacks and complementary foods. I never told her ‘no’ if she wanted to breastfeed. But I would wait until she asked me to.
Nighttime feedings were more difficult to stop. My husband began taking over bedtime to make the process easier. We would have an oatmeal snack and some milk before bed & we would cuddle with stuffed animals instead of nursing.
When I was away from my daughter, at work or out and about, I would hand express. Wherever I was. I never touched a manual or automatic breast pump because that would be ‘too much’ stimulation for my breasts. Hand expression removed the milk without overstimulating my body or sending signals to my brain to ‘make more milk’.
This is the challenging part of weaning. We want to prevent the inflammation of the breast (clogged ducts/mastitis) so we still need to remove milk for relief. But we DO NOT want to stimulate our breasts more (this sends signals to just continue making more milk).
That is why I ALWAYS recommend hand expression. It’s a good skill to have. I go over some techniques in my breastfeeding course ‘Nursing Newborn’.
We left on our trip to Costa Rica and my daughter handled the separation well. I continued to hand-express my way all over the country. When we returned home I was still making small amounts of milk.
I tried to breastfeed her in bed the first night we got home. I missed her so much. Like I said, I don’t think I was 100% ready. But she was. She pushed it away & just wanted cuddles.
This process started MONTHS before our actual trip. It took me about 4+ months to FULLY WEAN. It is a slow process and should be for many reasons!
Costa Rica was beautiful!
Tips For Mothers While Weaning
Whenever possible, weaning should be a gradual process. This means taking MONTHS is 100% normal and advised.
One huge reason to GO SLOW has to do with the change in hormones during the weaning process.
When you breastfeed you produce both oxytocin and prolactin. These hormones contribute to feelings of calm, love, relaxation, closeness, and contentment. As breastfeeding ends, both prolactin and oxytocin levels will lower – and so may your mood and sense of well-being.
Check-in with your mood daily during weaning. The sudden drop in hormones can leave you feeling ‘blue’ or ‘sad’. Know that this is normal, but if it ever gets to a point where you are questioning living or moving into a ‘depressive’ state of thought please work with a professional. You can call or text the Postpartum Support International Hotline at 1-800-944-4773 (4PPD). You are not alone.
Start with weaning daytime feedings
Next, move to nighttime feedings when you and your baby feel ready
If you must stop breastfeeding abruptly: take NSAIDS for discomfort (Motrin), apply cold gel packs to your breasts (cold cabbage leaves work as well), and wear a comfortable and supportive bra (avoid anything too tight)
Watch for clogged ducts (a hard, tender area of your breast) and mastitis (hot, swollen, red breast with fever, body aches, and chills)
Never massage your breast too hard, this can result in abrasion and can lead to infection (if you must massage do so gently)
If the weaning process is proving difficult or you would like professional IBCLC support, please reach out here. I would love to help & support you!
Tips For Baby While Weaning
All children wean. You & your baby get to decide that time together!! Depending on their age and readiness this can be a smooth or more difficult process. Equip yourself with support if possible & know that your baby is going through a major life transition–just as you are!
Begin introducing the bottle/cup well before the weaning process (if weaning is planned and not abrupt)
If your baby is younger than 12 months and refusing the bottle/cup please work with a professional (we want your baby to still be getting breastmilk or another milk substitute at this age)
Start slow–replace daytime feedings with a bottle, cup, other kinds of milk, and complementary foods (this will depend on their age)
Do not ‘offer’ the breast but also do not ‘deny’ the breast (if they ask for it, that’s okay–remember this process is gradual)
Replace‘breastfeeding time with another activity or a new routine (reading books, new stuffed animals, etc)
Have another caregiver do the bedtime routine when you are ready to wean nighttime feeds (please replace your baby’s feeds with meals, snacks, bottles, cups, etc depending on age)
Cuddle cuddle cuddle your baby! They are experiencing a huge change. A lot of breastfeeding is also ‘comfort’ so find other ways to continue that connection
If using a gradual weaning process, always look to your baby and their cues. You know them best and may need to adjust the process as you go!
Remind them that it is okay to feel sad and always replace the time you had a connection while breastfeeding with something new.
Your breastfeeding journey may have been positive, negative, or a mix of both. But it is yours and yours alone. You get to decide when the time feels right to stop that journey.
If outside factors, or other people’s opinions, are getting to you PLEASE know I am always here. As a listening ear. As professional support. As a friend. My inbox is always open.
No one should go through their breastfeeding, weaning, or motherhood journey alone. And although the weaning journey can be long–it is so worth it to ease into this new way of life for you and your baby.
References
Enger, L. (2023, April 7). Weaning from breastfeeding (Beyond the Basics). UpToDate. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/weaning-from-breastfeeding-beyond-the-basics
Grueger, B. (2013, April 2). Weaning from the breast. OUP Academic. https://academic.oup.com/pch/article/18/4/210/2647166